She rarely listens to anything you say when you talk to her and is continually talking about herself and only likes to gossip about others. So we have both just accepted the situation. The silent treatments started. Whether family members, friends, bosses, or coworkers we all have toxic people to overcome. How did I become the enemy if he is finally getting his freedom? The first year it was great. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage. Narcissists have very specific reasons for being in relationships, but their reasons do not reflect the universal need most of us have -which is to love. Before we got engaged, he asked my dad for his . My ex- drifted from job to job, career to career, mostly not working, but always lamenting what his purpose was. Finally, it does not matter what the NARC says about you to anyone, they will be found out of you do this: STAND IN YOUR OWN TRUTH WITH DIGNITY AND SELF RESPECT, DO NOT LOWER YOURSELF TO THE NARCS DEPTHS OF HOPELESSNESS, AND REMEMBER THAT YOU HAVE ESCAPED FROM A TERRIBLE EXISTENCE, AND THE ROAD AHEAD IS NOW CLEAR FOR AN AMAZING LIFE THAT YOU WILL HAVE. is compensated for referring traffic and business to these Hi thanks for saying this. I do not speak to him or even look at him although he still lives at home. Second, narcissists are always concerned about their image and narcissists to need people more than the typical person does. All he had to say is that he has no money and that he is old. I was engaged to a NARC. How can someone who has a history of cheating and lying, who lacks empathy and compassion, and who has proven that he/she has no desire of upholding their vows get remarried? Then the hell began. There is usually an event that she seems to orchestrate to finally get rid of the person. Daughter is born. I have to see him several days a week, which I cant get out of. He left and said we had too many scars that couldnt be fixed. He wasnt ready to cut me loose. Now I am mentally sick again. Because being married makes it harder for you to leave them. I told him one day that I wanted intimacy in our sex and not just naughty, nasty, sex. ..and if I hope (secretly) that she burns him out too does that make me a narcissist instead of hoping that she gets better and they live happily ever after? There is almost nothing a narcissist wont do if he thinks it will bring him fame. If they left you congratulations! Of course she told me right after that it was the first time ever she had let a man orgasm in her mouth and swallowed, without me asking. 2013-2015: Hell day and night. Isnt is funny that Im not the one who rushed out and jumped into another marriage.. This My ex was engaged a month after i moved out We were still working on our marriage At least years what he said. About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features NFL Sunday Ticket Press Copyright . Any thoughts of her can have the potential to emotionally tie you back to her.look in the mirror tomorrow morning and believe that there are healthy women in the world that can love and can support and genuinely do it from their heart. I asked her are just you and the girlfriend going and she and she said yes, just the two of them. I fill the same,I found friends he was not happy wanted to to break it off with them, he lost his 24 -7 wife Ive been call everything in the book, Im 70 years old unbelievable starting over, sometimes I can hardly breath. Someone is either single and available or not in my mind. Nine months later we were married, and a year after that I had a baby. As a former victim of a psychopath in my life, I wrote this site to help everyone overcome issues with psychopathic people in their life. I am curious if he wouldnt have still been married woukd he have moved that fast with me? The NARC will continue to try to elicit responses from you, as these maintain their control over you, and helps feed their supply needs 4. His children stay with me or their maternal grandmother when they are in town, not with him and call me Mom (saint mom- right!?!). I also have seen how when her husband works long hours, and she doesnt see him often enough, she goes out a lot more, texts her ex-husband over ridiculous things with their daughter, and has cheated on him. Leave with kids in tow in June of 2012. Hes ill She enables him and hes disgusting to get and me But one day shell see i feel sorry for her. Truly move on, dont wait for them to come back because if they do it will only be for self serving reasons. Living with a narcissist or dating a vulnerable narcissist can be draining, especially if you are married or deeply committed to one. I was married to a NARC and dealt with a lot of dark things from this man. Oh my gosh, were we married to the same man?! Often, he can keep her guessing and trying to make things work for years or even decades. They become involved in relationships to ensure their needs are met and obtain Narcissistic Supply. Their whole marriage was just some prop to make him look like a victim. I did not know what, and really who I was until recently. So what i am looking for is a somewhat analysis of what other people think of this whole situation and what they feel was really going on. When I finally had the guts to finally get away from him, he refused to divorce me or sign paper. Kids report she has moved into the home. He mentioned his ex wife and son, so I knew he had at least been married in the past. I read somewhere the Ns otherworldliness serves to keep them young looking. 2007-08: meets victim number 2, impregnates, attempts to buy a house, proposes, she aborts baby, calls it off. I was his 4th wife and less than 1 year after our divorce he had remarried on to wife #5. Then i found out she was still seeing him, she called again, in front of me again and said same thing, cannot see u again, but i found out again a month later she was stiil seeing him, fortunately i had taken a job long long ways away and the next week we moved. Its very hard not to feel jealous. When I met my husband (soon to be x husband) he had a girlfriend that he said was abusive, controlling, manipulative among other things. I think she felt reluctantly obligated caring for us while our father was alive but after, not so much. I get pregnant with daughter number 2. And youll never get played again. And then the next day she just argues and calls me loser, stupid, etc. He is remarried to a 28 year old who blames me for him disrespecting her. Paul,she has done you a massive favour.Keep looking ahead, blinkers off but aware that people like this have nothing.Empty vessels, its all about looks and control with themremember,empty vessels make the most noise.These Narcs have no shame,conscience,esteem,love (for themselves (not in that way) or for others)..it is like dating a robot.They say all the right things at the right time but it is all done to manipulate. This guy that she married is pretty successful financially. We had been together for 2 years before getting married, I was 18 years old at the time and pregnant with our first child (eventually we had two children), and we were married for 7 years. We are divorced 2 yrs now. I got a wage deduction order and the divorce said that he had to pay me until death or in the event that I lived with someone else. While having self-confidence or wanting to be acknowledged by others is normal, people with narcissistic personality disorder often take things to extremes. Since then she has totally confused me. It finally got so bad I had to leave and counselors told me that he had clear signs of sociopathic behaviors. To him, there is no such thing as bad publicity. Yes mine remarried immediately after our divorce too. We were divorced 4 yrs ago. He married a retired nurse 10 yrs his senior. We had to back to court 2 years later as he wouldnt pay me and didnt pay the kids medical bills. Why would a narcissist do this. It kills me. Shes teasing with her provocative comments and endless selfies. Everyone should set a point for themselves where enough is enough. Ive lost count of the times she promised to visit me and would then text me at the last minute to cancel. "Don't become bitter. So, have enough confidence to put forth what is right and do not back down. I met the wife after a few months. Rediscovering narcissism and interested to read the above comments. If ever there was such a thing as virtual or cyber sex she excelled in it. For more information on how narcissists work, check out . But hugs to you until that day comes because it feels terrible until then. My now ex husban left after finding new supply on facebook after i saved his life sat by his hospital bed 18hours per day for almost 3weeks. I had enough. He didnt care that I was divorcing him as he already had a new girlfriend. The person I met is unrecognisible from those social media posts early on. Try not to take it personally. When that court matter and relationship ended we got married and had a baby, registered a business, bought a house, bought another house where we had tenants and the business was going good. Having dated my own narcissist, I believe them leaving is the far better option, albeit still painful. In case you were unsure of 4, 5 & 6, NO CONTACT WITH YOUR EXN. LIES LIES AND MORE LIES because he is the same man hes always been A CONTROLLER, MANIPULATOR, AN ACTOR, A DR. JECKYL AND MISTER HYDE. Married her barely a year after we divorced on final trip and brought her home. No. He was apparently so afraid to be alone that he gave the highest priority to immediately finding a new prey. Always! I didnt realize what that word even meant until recently. The silence is a strange and cruel behavior that is harder to forgive, not the silence towards me, but the silence toward my daughter. He met her in August 2014, proposed to her Dec. 2014, broke off the engagement Jan. 2015, re-proposed to her Feb. 2015 and married April 2015. I was very successful in my work and commenced my doctorate part-time while also raising his 3 children (his wife had died). I dated a narc on/off for 6 yrs. He had two kids both of different relationships. And in any kind of relationship settingplatonic,. And his 1st wife. According to a 2019 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, people with NPD have traits that make it harder to love another person. She is the female twin of my ex both textbook narcissists who think the entire world should bow down and serve them. Narcissist use marriage and relationships as a way of obtaining status and prestige in their community. He also went on a smearing campaign against me but people that know him and his history knew better. He wants people to think he is better than they are, and that includes you - especially you. Saying move forward instead of move on, is so important to hear. How useful a person will be to him is the measure of their worth. He is now in contempt of court. The narcissists lability is so omnipresent and so dominant it could be said that the only stable trait they possess is their instability. So he dumped me out of the blue and got a new girl 3 weeks later. Instead, it will be through manipulation, control, and force. Is there something in the narcissists mind about the new source that makes them more prone to such a drastic step? Can you expect them to get better? Let go of your financial input like the health insurance etc. I believe he feels the same way. 10 Reasons Why Girls Want To Stay Friends After a Breakup, 8 Subtle Ways Guys Hint They Like You Without Saying It, 22 Painful Signs Hes Not Into You (Anymore). I have recently found out that my ex-wife that i met and married in China then 2 years later came to Canada, my home country, is definitely narcissistic. She acts like a teenager, spending all her free time drinking and smoking pot, despite being almost 40. Hallelujah!!! Things seemed great in the first few years of our marriage but soon there were cracks, caught him in a few lies, saw how his personality completely changed depending on who was present. He chooses friends and his partner(s) based on how well they can help him get attention or reach his goals. Realize that that is their problem, not yours. And yes, I have gone to alanon and counseling- because in my self-recriminations, I realized my giving nature had lacked boundaries. I really like your response. So its not a huge stretch of the imagination to think she will end up running off with a younger model (if she hasnt already). Then i said, honestly for me, did u cheat during our marriage, and she got all mad and loud and said i told you before no and hung up. There is no rhyme or reason to their drastic swings. Narcissists do get into romantic relationships.